Read the text. For questions 1–5, choose the correct answer, A, B, C or D.
The power of personality
‘He has a great personality!’ That’s how Bill, who later became my husband, was first described to me by my best friend. What she was trying to tell me in those five innocent words was that the man I was about to meet was less than attractive. And it’s true, you wouldn’t notice him in a crowd. But he really does have a great personality. From the first time we talked I was attracted to him, and after a few short weeks we fell madly in love.
Our idyllic life together was shattered a few years later when I almost lost Bill. In some sense I did lose him. Bill was driving home from work when he lost control of his car and crashed, leading to months in hospital. When he finally regained consciousness, the good-natured, affectionate Bill I used to know had been replaced by a much more self-critical and insecure version.
As a psychology student I’d studied theories on what makes us who we are, whether we are a product of nature or nurture and how far we can choose our identity. I’d even read up on a few cases where people had suffered catastrophic events and seemingly woken up with whole new personalities. It was only when I witnessed it first-hand that I became fascinated.
The tendency to classify people into personality types goes way back, even as far as the Ancient Greeks. They believed people could be categorised into four main humours, not dissimilar to the more modern Myers-Briggs test which is based on a wider range of sixteen personality types. Another field of thought, professed by Walter Mischel, was that behaviour was much more dependent on the situation a person found themselves in, rather than something present from birth.
It’s now generally accepted that there are five main personality types. These are conscientiousness, which is connected to your goals and how sensitive you are towards them. Agreeableness, whether a person is insecure and seeks approval from others or trusts in their own abilities. Extraversion, whether or not you enjoy socialising. Neuroticism, how you respond to threats, and finally openness, whether you are daring when it comes to new experiences or prefer to keep things the way they are.
Of these five traits, the one that seems easiest to change is neuroticism. Research shows that over time, everyone’s personality changes. It just happens so gradually that we don’t notice. Since neuroticism is linked to poor health and a reduced lifespan, it’s the one that people are most likely to seek help for, usually through therapy. When the right help is given, rather than a gradual change, such as the growth of a plant or the erosion of a cliff, the changes in terms of neuroticism are far easier to identify. Instead of thirty or forty years it can take as little as a month.
With that in mind, Bill and I have been on a mission to help him regain some of the identity he had before his accident. Scientific papers state that one way to change the mechanisms of behaviour is to focus on strengths and resources rather than problems, and finding ways these strengths can help you. Since Bill has always been very athletic, we found ways for him to channel his anger through learning martial arts, which he has gone on to compete in successfully. We still have a long way to go, but there are more and more glimpses of the old Bill showing through, and I have no doubt that this will continue as we keep working together.
The writer’s friend focussed on Bill’s personality because
